Two (or three) LDS versions of the 12 steps
July 19, 2006
THE 12 STEPS
Step 1
Admit that you, of yourself, are powerless to overcome your addictions and that your life has become unmanageable.
Step 2
Come to believe that the power of God can restore you to complete spiritual health.
Step 3
Decide to turn your will and your life over to the care of God the Eternal Father and His Son, Jesus Christ.
Step 4
Make a searching and fearless written moral inventory of yourself.
Step 5
Admit to yourself, to your Heavenly Father in the name of Jesus Christ, to proper priesthood authority, and to another person the exact nature of your wrongs.
Step 6
Become entirely ready to have God remove all your character weaknesses.
Step 7
Humbly ask Heavenly Father to remove your shortcomings.
Step 8
Make a written list of all persons you have harmed and become willing to make restitution to them.
Step 9
Wherever possible, make direct restitution to all persons you have harmed.
Step 10
Continue to take personal inventory, and when you are wrong promptly admit it.
Step 11
Seek through prayer and meditation to know the Lord’s will and to have the power to carry it out.
Step 12
Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, share this message with others and practice these principles in all you do.
These are the 12 steps found in the current LDS Addiction Recovery Manual or ARM (which can be downloaded here). I find them interesting for how they differ from both the original 12 steps associated with AA and from Heart t’ Heart’s 12 steps associated with the Book of Mormon. In particular, I find the distinctions between the latter two fascinating.
It seems as if there is more of a concern in the LDS ARM 12 steps with repentance within the context of the church. Notice that in step 5, you are to confess both to proper priesthood authority and to another person (in addition to God and yourself). Not all of the things that we inventory necessitate speaking to the bishop. For that matter, if you are solely a food addict or a codependent, you may not have to speak with priesthood authority at all (although, sometimes talking things out with the bishop helps). Additionally, for some offenses, disclosure to a counselor, sponsor, friend, or spouse are insufficient. Some addictions must be confessed before priesthood authority (I’ll let you and your bishop work out what they are). By integrating both into the steps, some confusion is avoided.
Of course, the LDS ARM version is less flowery that Heart t’ Heart’s version (especially the longer version which incorporates more scriptural language). More than that, I think that its clarity makes it a little more compelling. In the Heart t’ Heart version, a greater power will restore us to ‘sanity.’ Here, God will restore us to ‘complete spiritual health.’ In other words, he will not only correct and change our addictive behaviors; he will also make us spiritual whole and spiritually his.
Often the language of God differs between the two. Heart t’ Heart deliberately mimics the language of the original AA 12 steps in its shorter version, using ‘God’ or ‘a Higher Power’ frequently. The LDS ARM adopts the named gods of Heart t’ Heart’s longer version, while keeping the language relatively simply. So, God often becomes ‘Our Heavenly Father’ and we do things ‘in the name of Jesus Christ.’
Both versions (perhaps I should say all three versions) are wonderful. They have different emphases and use slightly different vocabularies. All three give clear instructions on what to do, how to do it, how to feel about it, why you should feel that way about it, and why you can. These are the kinds of instructions that the repentant need. I am grateful to have been introduced to the 12 steps.
The 12 steps will be the main topic of discussion around here for the next 12 weeks or so. Beyond that, we’ll probably go over them again. Over the rest of this week, I’ll tell you a little more about myself and my journey in the 12 steps (I’m really only about halfway along). In this, I understand that I am kind of skipping ahead to step 12 (which is a no-no). I’m sorry. I just think people need to be able to talk about this without feeling embarrassed. So, I’m talking about it.
Take Care!
August 3, 2006 at 4:07 pm
I was doing some searching through the internet, and am so glad that I stumbled onto this site. This is really great! I attend the LDS AR meetings 4-6 times a week in the Salt Lake Valley. I am a facilitator in the Sandy district. I absolutely love this program. I don’t know what I would do without it in my life. Thanks so much for this site, and for spreading the word.
August 4, 2006 at 5:54 pm
Thank you for commenting, Dana. Please feel free to come back!
March 25, 2008 at 4:44 am
Where are the groups, please? Are there any in Ogden? i have a real problem with something and that is that it says that the 12 steps is to move people to repentance and into spirituality and i feel I am extremely spiritual but I do not like going to church any more _ i find the people judgmental, hurtful, and at times blind to truth and also to genuine love for all people. I am sorry if I sound arrogant I do not mean to, but I almost want to become Buddhist – and yet i sincerely love the gospel.
take last time I went – all about the chastisement of Joseph Smith and someone said yes, we need to chastise our children more, and it ping ponged with talk on the devil rather than Christ. I left in tears. my friend did the same the week after in her ward when someone put their hand up and explained that she was hurt by the constant put downs by us, of other religions – she explained that her famly were still none LDS and very lovely people. my friend left crying. I did too when i went and could not hear any more about how they hoped those in prison had learned their lessons. i know I know how wonderful the gospel is, i know how fabulous the people are in so many ways but in such a narrow sense at times – do I go to 12 steps or become buddhist? I am half joking about the buddhist but so tired of the judgment I hear and hanging on by a thread – I know the gospel is true but do not want to be with those who bring me down, and yes, i am codependent too but do not feel a lack of spirituality is my main problem and to go to church feeling this way feels very codependent to me – i just do not want to be with people who do not love all cultures, all people and all those who have sinned. It is like being with the deaf, blind and dumb and pretending you are the one who has to repent when i honestly want to say who will throw the first stone? who is without sin? . i am english and it is seeming to me like the catholic church more and more instead of the beauty of love and the Savior’s admonition to now love one another as i have loved you I hardly feel welcome if I am different this should not be. My bishop suggested i do more service work – kind of be quiet keep busy and you won’t worry. i guess i need to repent because i am not going to church and if 12 steps is aimed at making me do that and saying i am not spriutal enough, I am not sure i want to go there either – and yet i do honestly truly want to go back to church, but only if the people are kind and non judgmental. what is wrong with me?
maybe there is something right with me and I am just deeply sensitive at the moment and I know I am not the only one. The reason I joined 30 years ago was because of the absolute love i saw given to all. i saw punk rockers walk in and they were treated like royalty -so much love given to them.
March 29, 2008 at 6:37 pm
Diana,
I’m sorry you are having that experience. I am a convert to the Church (16 yrs ago), so I can see your point-of-view clearly. There are a lot of members who do miss the point. There are also a lot who get it. But, for me, I have found that through my trials that stem from others’ choices (and trust me, that is a major issue in my life) I have found that the only answer is to ask Heavenly Father what he wants me to do. There have been big issues; infidelity, lies, stupid people; seriously big issues that have shaken me. But, I decided to not do anything without consulting Him first. And it has made a big difference for me. It doesn’t change the trials, but I know that if my inclination is, for example, to leave my husband, I don’t want to rely on my emotions or even my logic to make such decisions, so I ask, “What do you want me to do?” And He always tells me. Often it is, “Wait,” which isn’t my favorite answer
and sometimes it is excruciating to do what he tells me, but there is peace in knowing that I cannot make a mistake, thus making my problems worse, if I ask Him first. There have been times that the whole world is coming down around me, but I do what He tells me to do, and then my life is at peace in spite of it. I hope this helps.
April 9, 2008 at 6:34 pm
I’ve had plenty of people who try to ‘fix me’ say like Job’s friends, “Curse the church and take care of yourself!”. The thing I have found is that the turbulence increases the more ‘on path’ I have become. It’s easy to do what everyone else does, it’s hard to have faith and humility to ask what His will is. I find it frustrating that the answers don’t come for years sometimes. I still don’t have all the answers, but I know the GOSPEL is true, people aren’t usually.
April 18, 2008 at 5:00 pm
I find that church leaders are always acknowledging addiction until it shows up in the membership. Then it is just a matter of weakness or bad use of agency.
My twelve step group is becoming way more important to me than the church and I don’t know how to feel about that. I keep asking myself, How can this be Christ’s church if there is no place in it for the addict? As my sponsor (non-member) said recently, “You may not be temple worthy, but you are Jesus worthy”.
I guess I’m not worthy to be a member of this church anymore because I am an addict. But I know my saviour loves me, and I am learning to love others more than ever, and learning for the first time I think what it really means to be a Christian. And I don’t know what to do with the fact that this is all coming to me from outside the church. If fact it is all coming to me at a time when I am all but cast out of the church.
My twelve step meetings make elder’s quorum meetings look like a sports bar.
I have a hard time even imagining the church isn’t true. And I have a hard time imagining why the true Church of Jesus Christ would shun me and cast me out and mistreat me at a time when I am struggling for my very life.
aj
May 30, 2008 at 3:05 am
AJ
I’m sorry to hear about that you feel outcast at church. I don’t have many answers but I had a thought that may be of some benefit.
Your post prompted the following question: Does the church reject sinners? I believe the answer is no, it does not. What is does is hold us to a standard. These standards are God’s requirements for certain blessings (ie temple blessings). God’s love for each individual person is not based on these standards — it is there, in the same quantity, for all.
I’m glad that your 12 step meetings are such a blessing to you. I know that mine have been to me. I thought of Moroni 7:13 and 7:24 when reading your post (everything which inviteth and enticeth to do good, love God, and serve Him is inspired of God).
I believe these steps to faith and repentance are inspired of God.
August 15, 2008 at 10:40 pm
I didn’t realize that my whole name would show up on here. Is there any way you can get it off here. you might want to somehow let others know that the whole name will show up publicly. i have a feeling your just going to say sorry there is nothing we can do aren’t you?
Hmm, good job I am not that bothered. hate to think what would have happened if i had put more personal info on, as it is I am fine with what i wrote but still would prefer to only have my first name on – we need to always make that clear to people.
thanks for the comments – i really believe i have listened to my father in heaven and you might not believe me but i believe there are times we are meant to do waht we are meant to do and not always go to our ward. for instance I have seen people with migraines and with depression and all kinds of things force themselves to go to church because they could not bear to think what others thought of them. I do not see that as listening to spirit. i know a girl who grew up LDS. Her little sister was killed in a terrible accident. her family suffered for many years and it affected their standing in the church, and she is so hurt and messed up that going to church makes her feel worse. i sure would not blame or judge her for not doing. I think church is a great vehicle for life but I find spirit and true love in my heart ultimately and even in nature. that does not mean that we do not need spiritual community and of course we are meant to follow our prophet but seriously isn’t there a time when we are meant to follow our own spiritual guidance.
More and more I cannot help but feel that love is my religion. amazing church, and amazing concepts but there are times when i need to be with those who will truly love me and support me.
November 18, 2008 at 4:25 am
Diana,
I am sorry, but I can’t erase your name. The name that goes up is the one you type (or the one you chose for your wordpress account). I can’t change it.
December 1, 2008 at 2:23 pm
One of my favorte hymns says “Fill our hearts with sweet forgiving; Teach us tolerance and love. …
One of the greatest blessings of going to group is being surrounded by others who live this principle. There are few places like it anywhere. We share, we trust, and in turn we are antrusted with the deepest fears, pains, hopes and desires of others in our group. Meetings are made for that. Church isn’t.
I have felt for years there is a different quality in people who have gone through 12 steps. Like the gospel, applying the principles makes “bad men good and good men better”, but it doesn’t happen simply by showing up – you have to do the work.
There are lots of members who just “show up” to church. I am not saying that those who have gone through 12 steps are better people, but when they have gone through that experience and have done the work, I do believe that they have an extra measure of tolerence and love. Can’t we bring that back to our wards? Can we be tolerent of those who aren’t? Like the 12 step groups, not everyone who shows up to church is ready to do the work, but let’s not reject them, even if they reject us. Live the higher law. You may find there is someone there who can benefit from things only you can give.
There are real blessings in the Gospel and in attending church. Let’s not let the actions or attitudes of others deprives us of what is righfully ours.
December 1, 2008 at 8:41 pm
Thanks for your thoughts, sw.
For those who care, I plan to start updating this site again in two months. I appreciate your patience. Sorry for the long time dead. I have been dead along with it, but I am alive again.
January 12, 2009 at 5:20 pm
I feel as if the LDS 12 Steps as they are currently written are missing a significant spiritual principle. In AA and NA the steps are written in the “we” context and not in the “you” context. That would seem to make this a “we” program instead of an “I” program. “We can do together what I could not do alone….”, “I can’t, but we can”
Why did the brethren feel as if that had to be taken rewritten? It seems to me to be just one more example of how they really do not understand the addict and what it takes to overcome addictions at all.
In my area ARP has been a blessing and a curse in my life. It has at least kept me in touch with the church but the participants are so judgemental. There is no anonymity at all. The gossiping has nearly ruined lives. It has been a bad experience for many. There are some sick individuals who are not necessarily addicts— just sick.
I’ve heard it said that every member “needs” this program. That may well be, but it’s not for all of those who need it— it’s for those who “want” it. It is not group therapy or treatment; it is recovery. There is a huge difference and all too often we seem to miss that point.
I hope and pray that we can get ARP to the point where it actually works. Until then, thank God for AA and NA.
October 30, 2009 at 2:49 am
Can you tell me where I can find a group meeting here in walnut creek California or it’s surroundings